I know, I know, it’s not going to be easy to narrow the list down to 10, given that the time period incorporates the 1990s. But at least the 80s are out, which cuts down my workload by about half.

 

Crocs
Sure they’re waterproof, but so are plastic bags and you don’t wear those to the shops. The bright hues give the impression that you’ve either joined the Wiggles or are completely colour blind and the shape is reminiscent of a Dutch clog for trippers.
Fisherman Pants
Comfortable, practical, ridiculous. Why bother wasting your money on fisherman’s pants when you can get the same effect by gift-wrapping your body in the lounge room curtains. Add a pair of crocs and you deserve everything you get, you stinky little hippy.
Crop Tops
Once the domain of sexy chicks with flat stomachs, crop tops are now the garment of choice for potential Biggest Losers the world over. All belly, no laughs, these incomplete fashion disasters create a verandah over the toy shop, while ensuring teenage pregnancy rates do not increase.
Muffin Pants
Similar to crop tops, muffin pants are worn by way more people than they suit, forcing seemingly normal girls to look like they have consumption of the legs when in profile. Great for girls who want to avoid any unwanted attention when out with their mates.
Flouro
Great if you’re riding a pushbike at night, terrible if you think you’d like to have sex one day. Flouro should be restricted to street signs, council workers and traffic cones, not t-shirts and fingerless gloves, as it is possibly the worst idea since George Michael.
Welcome mat tattoos
Nothing says ‘take me from behind’ like an asymmetric scrawl across the top of a chick’s arse. In recent years they have appeared with more regularity than Metamucil, with impressionable young girls keen to force their inconsolable fathers to consider who might get to critique the dodgy artwork.
Face Piercings
You need this one like a hole in the head. Ring pulls on the eyebrow, studs under the lip, it’s all a bit Terminator 2 for me, especially when combined with those earrings that make you look like Dumbo the elephant. Why not go the whole hog and hammer a nail into you eyeball., you fucking freaks.
'Jesus is my Homeboy' Tees
Not he isn’t you tosser. The picture makes Jesus look more like the lead singer of Supertramp and the sentiment suggests some kind of blasphemous homo-erotic cult. Find God by all means, just don’t make out his son is an active member of the Crips.
Faux Hawks
make you mind up….either have a mohawk and dress like a punk, or don’t. Adapting your anarchic statement so it’s suitable for the office detracts from the message somewhat and makes people like Davis Beckham the perfect candidate for an old fashioned stomping. Sid Vicious would be turning in his grave.
The Clumsy decorator look
About 10 years ago, all the cheap-arse shops in the high street started flogging their atrocities with splattered paint designs over everything from shirts to shoes. Labels moved to the outside of the garment, hems no longer required finishing and everyone began to resemble a painter’s soiled ground sheet.

 Disagree? Loves your Crocs? Happen to be David Beckham?
Give me one good reason why....

 

Click here to view details of the 2008 L'Oreal Fashion Festival, plus photo galleries from the event.