This particular tip comes in two parts, 1) seizing the moment and 2) traveling with kids -  as you will see they sort of meld into each other.

With traveling, seizing the moment is all about being opportunistic. It's about doing or saying the right thing at the right time. For example if you ever, in your travels, encounter armed people (as in guns, knives etc.), whether they be police, army, bandits, terrorists etc. it's a pretty good idea to not say something like: “You guys suck!”

Sometimes saying nothing can be very beneficial. My wife Michelle and I were in Sydney a couple of years ago for game one in the State of Origin series. As we were walking to the Stadium Michelle snapped the heel on one of her boots. It didn't come completely off and sort of just dangled in space. Shelly managed to keep walking with a Quasimodo kind of limp. As we were about to join the thousands queuing at the gates an attendant approached Michelle and asked if we would like to follow him. 'Oh-oh', I thought, 'Did they know we were Queenslanders in enemy territory? Were they going to punish us?'

He directed us to the Executive elevator and told us because Michelle had a disability ....we could use the lift and come back that way at the end of the game. We looked at each other, contained ourselves and thanked the nice man. The next day as Michelle shuffled into the airport, wearing still damaged boots, we received much the same treatment as well as assistance with our luggage. Silence can be golden.

While standing in line waiting to be processed through customs a while ago, a familiar aroma stung my nostrils. My baby daughter had once again filled her nappy with what was undoubtedly one of the most toxic substances known to man. Amazing! Healthy stuff in one end, possessed ectoplasm out the other. Looking around at the scene before me, I saw rows of frustrated, stationary people and not much activity happening behind the official’s desks, I thought right about then might be a good time to share my daughter's expertise with the world. It would certainly liven things up anyway.

Before I had even finished unwrapping her blanket, I noticed people's nostrils twitching their heads darting this way and that searching for the origin of the pungent odour. My piece de resistance however was when I actually started to change her on one of our suitcases. People were actually gagging. One of the customs officers called us through, scribbled on our declaration cards and directed us to a parent's room. We were on our way home in minutes.

We were driving through central New South Wales in the middle of grain growing country. Michelle, being a Kiwi, is prone to occasionally asking strange questions about Australia and associated customs. “Are they parmesan cheese factories?” she asked, pointing to some grain silos. I explained what they were and said, ‘yes’ I could definitely smell parmesan cheese also. It was then that I looked in the rear vision mirror to discover what is the basis for my next tip.

When you are driving long distances and your small child suddenly becomes very quiet in their little seat in the back, they are probably sleeping. If however this quietness is accompanied by a smell rather like parmesan cheese just check to see that they're not sitting there with an amazed look on their face and vomit issuing down into their lap like a lava flow.

Happy travels – Stokesy