Hello, Scenesters!
Damn, I do love me some animals. From the newest pull your heartstrings story about the orphaned hedge-hogs who think a bristle brush is their mother to the classic but amazingly true story of dogs playing poker.
Now that my new office is walking distance away from a small barn with five chickens and two black sheep I can only imagine what fun real life animal tales await.
Go ahead and enjoy these Virtually Funny videos while I feed some acid-dusted worms to the chickens. Actually, please don’t ever do mean things to defenseless animals. As a very young and stupid boy I once dropped a salamander onto a cactus and to this day I still feel terrible about it. I hope for my sake that Karma doesn’t find irony amusing. Don’t forget to send the ones you like to your friends who are inhumanely crammed into tiny offices, and cubicle cages just hoping for a tiny ray of animal amusement to brighten up another drab day at the human zoo.
Highly Trained Flies
I didn’t know you could train a fly to do this, but, because it’s on video and edited I am betting that they just glued the little fuckers onto their backs and stuck the balls on top of them. If it isn’t a camera trick I’m hoping to use the same method to get a swarm of flies to bring me a beer. Preferably right now.
Chicks Love a Pit Bull
You know who else loves a Pit bull? The Mexican gangsters I met at the beach the other day. Thank you to them for not killing me.
Dog vs. Toilet
I’m still not clear who won.
One Confused Cat
That’s just mean. I’m going to immediately rush out to buy a cat just so I can do it myself and then return the cat. But just because I do it doesn’t make it any less mean.
Monkey Stabbing
You can’t argue with facts, now can you? Of course, that’s just my opinion.
Stupid Monkeys
I’ve suspected that Bush was a hairless, talking, monkey for years. Why can’t somebody do their monkey stab-testing on him?
Shopping Penguin
I can’t think of a stranger family pet. I’m going to send my dogs out to forage for wine and women now.
Animal Thieves
I wonder if these are the same dudes who broke into my car last month.
News Monkey
You have to love local news coverage for its professional polish. Every newscast should have its own hyperactive animal. The ratings would be huge.
Two-faced Kitten
Adorable times two or horribly freaky crime against nature?
Dalmatian Biker
I love the exaggerated gasp the guy makes when he sees the dog. It’s sooo over the top. I must one day go to Japan to dissect them and study their sense of humor.
Drunk Animals
I assumed that the only animals that got drunk were those given alcohol by humans for highly important research experiments and team mascots of highly stupid sporting events. It seems that getting shit-faced drunk is totally natural. Hakuna matada!
When Good Sheep Go BAAAD… and other horrible puns.
My goodness, this video makes shepherds look braver than lion tamers
CLICK HERE for more of Kranki's Virtually Funny Clips.
