Celebrity babies are all the rage these days.

From Liz Hurley to Jamie Lynn, everyone’s getting their own screaming accessory, whether it be a pink one from home or a more exotic version from overseas (they’re more expensive but come in a range of colours).

Here are our top 10 potential screw ups for the future, complete with a prediction for their own personal fall from grace.

Let us know if we’ve missed anyone, you know how much celebrities hate to be left out.

Beckham
If Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz get  Dad’s brains and Mum’s looks they’re all royally fucked. Because any homework advice David can offer will be redundant by grade 4, and life tips from a self-obsessed orange stick insect are about as welcome as a hessian lollipop.

Predicted downfall: Sunbed melanoma.
Cyrus
Miley doesn’t stand a chance. Her mother’s idea of a tasteful photo shoot has set her up as the modern day Lolita, while Daddy is famous for having the worst mullet and number 1 single in history. Surely it’s only a matter of time before she’s on remand or heroin. Disney isn’t helping.

Predicted downfall: Terminal embarrassment.
Rossdale/Stefani
He’s famous for not being able to keep his pecker in his pants, she’s better known for giving the world a string of grating pop atrocities, while looking like an overdressed tart with a huge head. The kids’ affections are won over using a combination of expensive gifts, designer clothes and the promise of a shallow existence.

Predicted downfall: Fashioned to death.
Spears
The winners, for sure. Brit and K-Fed could not have done a better job of ensuring a life of paparazzi misery for their two sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James. “I’d like to thank my parents, without whom I would probably be a happy and well adjusted individual” you’ll hear at the 2020 Oscars. In the meantime Brit’s unlikely to get any traction with her “you’re not going out in that” advice.

Predicted downfall: Hereditary disorder causing velvet track suit hemorrhage.
Jolie/Pitt
The most recent additions to the club are also the most likely to screw up. When ‘newspapers’ are offering $11 million for a photograph of two gunk covered newbies, there’s no better time to cash in on the kids. Trust me, forcing the anklebiters to clean out chimneys is sooo last century.

Predicted downfall: the twins will both be destroyed fighting over who is the cutest.
Richie
It’s going to be difficult for Madonna and Guy to discourage young Lourdes from sex, drugs and rock n roll, as that’s what they built their own pathetic careers on. “And here’s a picture of Mummy getting jiggy with a group of her friends, while Daddy looks all grumpy and sad. Ah, how sweet”.

Predicted downfall: Bad hair and weird sex.
 Urban
John Wayne’s father famously named his son Marion to toughen the poor little bastard up at school. Similarly, the Urbans chose to call their daughter Sunday Roast, sticking to a family tradition which goes back several generations. Nicole has an aunty called Egg and Bacon Roll, while Keith’s Gran used to sign her name Friday Night is Fish and Chips Night.

Predicted downfall: Sage and onion misadventure.

Aguilera
Mum’s forte is to wail at the top of her lungs while looking sulky and almost naked. So following in the family business should be a piece of piss for little Max. By the time he’s in school, phrases such as ‘milf’ and ‘your Mum’s an old scrubber’ will seem as natural as being felt up by a team of sweaty dancers on stage.


Predicted downfall: Insanity brought on by high note mishaps.

Jackson
Let’s face it, these ones are probably already gone. Because being genetically linked to someone who sleeps in an oxygen tank and has spent a fortune trying to look like Teri Hatcher is bound to have its issues. Throw in an aunt (Janet) who is trying to look like your Dad and the package is complete.

Predicted downfall: Genes. Pure and simple.
Osbourne
The kids in this family have already blossomed into delightfully fucked up brats. Jack looks like a stroppy fat chick, Kellie looks like a stroppy fat dude, both are as much fun as irritable bowel syndrome.

Predicted downfall: Kicked to death by the public.