At first glance Endemol’s ‘The Big Donor Show’ looks like it could be about kebabs, but it’s much, much worse than that. This week sees the launch of a new reality TV show from the Dutch creators of Big Brother, which follows the mis-fortunes of a terminally ill woman bent on giving her kidneys up for charity. Everyone, apart from the people making the cash, is up in arms, claiming that watching a group of desperate coffin-dodgers plead for the chance to live past next Tuesday is unethical and unworkable, despite being undeniably clever.

Experts have suggested that ‘contestants’ on the show have only a 33% chance of being compatible with the glittering prize, so they’re more likely to score a million dollar cheque from Eddie Everywhere than register a win here. But, due to a combination of long hospital waiting lists and acute desperation, plenty want to try.

The producers claim the purpose is to highlight the difficulty in obtaining kidneys through traditional means, suggesting they are only producing the show out of an altruistic desire to help. But we know it’s because they’re greedy and have run out of ideas.

Here are a few ideas for the soundtrack…….

Take it from here                                             Justin Timberlake

The first cut is the deepest                             Rod Stewart

Mac the Knife                                                  Bobby Darin

I’m outta here                                                   Shania Twain

Can’t take it                                                     All American Rejects

Big Empty                                                        Stone Temple Pilots
     
Take another little piece of my heart               Janis Joplin