Have you found Jesus yet?  Maybe you're not looking in the right places? 
 
Now we all knew there was supposed to be a second coming of the Lord Jesus.  Personally I expected that he'd arrive in grand style - perhaps skydiving onto the World Cup to score the winning goal or pulling up on his golden Lamborghini Diablo that can drive on top of water.  I was stunned to find that sneaky hippie had popped up in less than dignified fashion in a very Wrong location. 
 
Happy Birthday Jesus!  I hope Santa gets you an awesome pair of sandals this year.  
 
xo Krankiboy